Hey Days

This will be my goodbye to you
It is time now
bid adieu, I must
your world is death to me
And I must do away with you
even if it means 
I do away with me.

Somewhere beyond the vistas
there is a spot where lies a body
my soulmate rests in peace there
I slowly inch towards you
Seeking closure to our unfinished business
drawing red lines on the ice towards where you lay.

Life is running thin
my breaths getting shallower
a film of memories 
running through my head
of you and I in our heyday
but it won't be long anymore
I shall be with you again, 
very soon, my best friend.

Soon we will be back in our paradise
United we will stand again
hands in hands, heads resting together
by the lake
where we first met.

This end is the beginning to our destiny
journey of a lifetime and beyond
no more thunderstorm 
no more scary nightmares
just you and me
making hay in the bright sunshine.

6 O'clock

it's 6 o'clock in the morning

it's one of those day again.

it's been 4 years now.

I haven't slept all night again.

Memories of those burnt pages

still come flying back.

Ashes of them scattered all over,

All of it, I thought I'd taken better care of.

Girls, the mysteries they are to me.

Drive me crazy,

Drive me insane,

Make me crawl on my knees,

Tear my hair out in a frenzy,

running in circles,

round and round

Still, I wouldn't know a thing,

about you, you know.

And when I reach the peak of it,

This is what I do,

stay up all night.

think of you.

Through the pictures in my head,

and those crimes, we had together done.

Come on now,

I think you ought to know

That your time has been long over

Stop hanging around every then and now.

Ghosts of my past, i.e. you

Leave me now, GO AWAY.

I need my space back now.

To fill it with another color,

To replace you,

with someone else,

Someone different,

Someone better

Maybe, definitely,

Another lover,

Or just somebody,

Someone who really cares,

Unlike you.

Those Eyes

Those eyes,

they tell me a new story,

every day.

I love her,

through those green eyes,

those hypnotic green eyes.

I can't take my eyes off you,

See you as you want me to.

Who will read then

those stories,

you're keeping hidden,

behind those green green eyes.

Come in here,

move a little closer now,

let me take in

the smell of your hair too

touch your (quivering) lips with mine,

trace the line of your neck

and count those freckles too.

Come here,

near me again,

lay by my side again,

Shadow my existence with your black hair.

Kiss me again,

Draw first blood,

and then more,

slowly.

Been waiting for so long,

the day you come back to me,

And then slowly,

Avenge for the deeds of past,

Draw me into my long pending fate.

It's been a long time since I wrote anything. Feels like I have given up to corporatedum and forgotten how to write. Anyway, I'm trying to get back to what I cherished most, once again. Here is one for the start. not a good effort, more like rhyming, but a restart nonetheless.

---------------------------------

life was easy, wasn't it?

when you were around.

Stood for each other,

Storms and rain.

Happiness and pain.

Fun and laughter,

Rumbles and pictures.

I guess

It's over now.

You and me.

Together,

No more.

I walk alone.

on my way.

You walk alone.

on your way.

Good bye my friend.

It wasn't easy.

But it's time to let go.

Together,

no more,

it's time to go home.

Hey.

So looks like you surfed all the way to here from CS. Excellent. I'm sorry to disappoint you with not many recent updates on me here, but then, I've been a little dormant due to corporate world pressures. Since, I've now decided to go back to my roots and connect with my real self again, you should be seeing some contribution in near future soon. Oh, by the way, some of the stuff may sound a bit dark, but don't pay too much attention there. Was just one of the phases I went through some time back. ;->>

Have fun reading.

Cheers.

रेगीस्तान

इतना दूर भी न भाग मुसाफ़िर,
ओस की तलाश में,
कि प्यास ही मार डाले तुझे,
भटकते हुए रेगिस्तान में,
निकाल खंजर और कर वार,
निकाल दहकते हुए रक्त को शरीर से,
लगा ले चार घूँट जीवन धारा के।

जब जल मिलेगा तब मिलेगा ऐ राहगीर,
ना कर इंतज़ार, नर्क सी इस दुपहरी में,
डगर डगर है नगर बहुत,
बावडी और गांव भी जो खंडहर बन चुके,
मिलेंगे आगे नर-कंकाल भी रेत के टिब्बों पर ,
कहीं तू सो न जाए उनके साथ हमेशा के लिए,
जीवनधारा की इस मृगतृष्णा में।

Do You Still

Do you still

wonder about those dreams

we used to discuss

of our lives everyday

talking of flying to that zone up above

see them alive once;

take a bow

to the gods up there.

Do you still

miss me

sometimes

talk your heart out in the air

Since I am no more there

beside you.

Give that intense gaze of assurance,

caressing your hand,

For peace of mind

A piece of mine

To you, my sweetheart.

Do you still

remember my poems

I used to write

'You' as my subject.

Perhaps yes,

may be not.

These things that are

between you and me

Some things,

You wouldn't say

and I wouldn't know.

Do you still remember

That's what you said

The last time we rode the bus

back to home

Perhaps Yes,

may be not.

But then,

You never listened as well.

How would we ever know

What was unsaid?

Whatever it ever meant?

I still wonder

Do you still...

लोरी

छन्न से आवाज़ आयी,
बिखर गया शीशा फर्श पर,
सामने एक चेहरा था मुझे चिढाता हुआ
आईने में बना हुआ प्रतिबिम्ब मेरा,
जैसे मुझे पर ही हस्ता है।

सहा जाये ना अब मुझसे
ये जग हंसायी का मंज़र
हर कण लहूलुहान कर जाए मेरे कदमो को
बेध जाए दिल के परदे को हज़ार बाण।

छलनी मन को लिए फिरता मैं दर बदर
मिले ना फिर भी सुकून जहाँ में
बदरा छाये आसमा पर
फिर भी लब सूख गए मेरे,
झरनों के इस मौसम में।

रेगिस्तान की तपती रेत सी जिन्दगी
छाया का दूर दूर तक नमोनिशां नही,
कोई आसरा, कोई मंज़िल नहीं,
ना बाकी है कोई अल्फाज़,
दबी है इन रेत के टिब्बो में मेरी ख्वाहिशे
दफ़न इसके गर्भ में कुछ सपने,
और, मेरी परछायी।

रूह मेरी खानाबदोश अब,
इस शहर, कभी उस शहर,
सदियों से मिला नही एक मकान,
जो कहे कि आ मित्र,
तेरा नया बसेरा है यहीं।

अफ़सोस ना कर फिर भी ऐ दिल
इन अनगिनत दरवाजो के पीछे तुम छुपी हो मेरी माँ,
खोल दो अपना आँचल,
समा लो मुझे आज अपने अंक में।

थक गया हूँ मैं,
अपनी नन्ही थपकियों से मुझे सहला दो,
नहला दो मुझे ममता से
सींच दो मेरे प्यासे मन को अपने दुलार से,

आज आयी है मेरे घर,
सावन की घटा जन्मों के बाद,
भीग कर सरोबर कर दो,
जाने दो मुझे अब,
बहुत भटक लिया मैं नगर-नगर।

अब आराम से लिटा कर,
फिर से सुला दो छुटपन सा,
नींद ना आये सदियों से माँ,
आज फिर वही लोरी सुना दे।

कर अपने लाल को हँसकर कर विदा
अपने पल्डे पर सिर रखकर सपने फिर से सजा दे,
मुस्कुरा दे माँ अब,
फिर से वही लोरी सुना दे।

Among all people, I am all alone
Among all hearts, I am unloved
Among all goals, I am aimless
Among all friends, I am lonely.

I walk a step ahead, & two back at the same time
I dream of heaven in night, & live in hell at the same time
I sleep restless, to wake up numb
I live everyday to die every night, to rise again next day.

Walking through shards of mirror of mine
I bleed to lead, to bleed once again sometime.
Act sane before all, to go insane in loneliness
Contradiction of sorts is this ghostly existence of mine.

Rescue me sweetheart, or let me go
Hold on to me tight, or give me a blow.
Decide my fate, hang me not till infinity
Life is running away too fast, & the end is arriving too slow.

Iris

Sometimes it is extremely difficult for me to understand what I am? I have been trying to get back to 'A' but in reality I am only allowed to live as 'K'. Another post on self assessment (!?!) but rather the truth is that I have long forgotten who I really am? I feel like I have lost my voice somewhere along with my innocence & wisdom. My life at this moment is in complete shambles, a sort of contradictions of all the meanings of anything I know. What do I do? Does anyone know an answer to this?

All I could think of is Goo Goo Dolls singing IRIS.

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Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later its over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I dont want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

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